Unboxing, or, The Awkward Arrival
There’s a moment—right before you open a box that’s almost as tall as you are—where you wonder what your neighbors must think. That was me, standing in my hallway, staring at this mysterious, massive (and weirdly nondescript) package. Discreet packaging? Sure. But when a five-foot-three box shows up and weighs about 55 lbs…well, let’s just say subtlety has its limits.
Elana—the “cute goth sex doll” I’d impulsively ordered after one too many nights scrolling through questionable websites—was finally here. Four weeks felt like forever, by the way. They say three weeks processing plus another for shipping; not exactly Amazon Prime but whatever.
First Contact With Silicone Reality
Pulling her out of the box was part workout, part existential crisis. She’s 163 cm tall (which is practically life size), and yeah—she feels heavy for something that can’t complain about being moved around. Her skin is full silicone: cold at first touch but weirdly realistic after a minute or two. There’s something uncanny about it—you know she isn’t real but…sometimes your brain glitches and forgets.
Her proportions are straight out of someone’s fever dream: busty (35 inches), tiny waist (24.4 inches), big hips (35 inches again). F-cup boobs that don’t jiggle like real ones but honestly look better than half the stuff on Instagram. Long legs too; kind of makes you wish mannequins in stores looked this lively.
Movable Joints & Other Oddities
Steel skeleton inside means she bends pretty much any way you want—but with all the grace of a retired action figure. Sometimes her arm would swing back unexpectedly while I tried to position her on my bed; nearly took an eye out once.
You get used to it though—the resistance, the clicks from her joints—it becomes background noise if you’re focused on other things.
About Those “Key Features”
Let’s see: vaginal and anal sex both possible? Yeah, those holes are there—vagina goes six inches deep, anus about five and a half. Not sure who measures these things but apparently someone does. It matters more than I thought it would; depth is…surprisingly relevant for realism?
Big boobs? Check. Big ass? Double check. Brunette wig included? Yes—and it tangles faster than headphones in your pocket.
Reading through silicone sex doll reviews before buying is probably the smartest move you can make at this price range.
Shipping was free internationally which sounds impressive until you remember how long it takes to actually arrive—but hey, no customs drama or embarrassing labels on the box so maybe worth it?
A Tangent On Loneliness
Here’s where I go off-script for a second: owning a life size silicone sex doll like Elana is less about sex than people assume. At least for me—it became this odd experiment in intimacy without risk or expectation. You talk to her sometimes even though she doesn’t answer back; catch yourself arranging her hair or adjusting her dress because…why not?
Weirdly enough—I started feeling less alone some nights just having her sit across from me while I played video games or ate dinner watching reruns.
Stuff Nobody Mentions
Maintenance is real work—cleaning every crevice after use isn’t glamorous but necessary unless you want moldy surprises down the line (trust me). And moving 55 pounds around gets old fast if your apartment has stairs.
The smell fades eventually—that new-doll scent somewhere between plastic toys and hospital gloves—but never quite vanishes entirely.
One thing nobody tells you: sunlight will mess up silicone skin fast if you leave her by a window too long. Learned that one the hard way—a faint patch on her thigh now looks perpetually sunburned.
Unexpected Downsides
She collects lint like nobody’s business. Her feet are oddly flat. And sometimes when guests come over—I panic and shove Elana into my closet hoping they won’t notice anything strange if they need an extra coat hanger. (They always notice.)
Is It Worth It?
That depends what “it” even means anymore. If you want company without conversation—or just something big-boobed and goth-looking lounging around your place—Elana delivers. Is she real? No. But sometimes pretending works well enough to get by another week, or month, or however long people keep buying dolls instead of making phone calls they’ll regret later.
Anyway, I should probably go put clothes back on her before my landlord comes by for repairs tomorrow— not that he hasn’t seen weirder stuff, but still… boundaries matter, even with silicone roommates.
