There’s this thing nobody tells you about shopping for a life size silicone sex doll: it’s not nearly as wild or cinematic as your brain wants it to be.
I mean, you’d think there’d be neon lights, some sort of velvet curtain, maybe a little shameful music in the background. Instead, you’re just scrolling through product specs at 2am with a mug of cold coffee and a vague sense of “what am I even doing?” Anyway—Jenna caught my eye. Or her description did, at least.
The Features List That Reads Like Sci-Fi
Platinum cured silicone. That phrase alone sounds like something out of a B-movie where androids take over the world (but make it sexy). Jenna clocks in at 5 feet 4 inches tall—162 cm if you want to sound technical about it. She weighs 62 lbs (28 kg), which is… less than my dog but more than a watermelon. Try carrying her up stairs after skipping arm day. Not that I’d know.
Then there’s the steel skeleton with movable joints. Movable! Joints! There was this moment where I imagined accidentally twisting an elbow backwards and having to explain myself to no one except possibly my own reflection.
Measurements & The Surreal Math
Let’s get clinical for half a second: Bust is 30 inches, underbust 23.6, waist just under 20, hips slightly above 30 again. Proportions that don’t quite match anyone I’ve ever met on the subway but somehow feel engineered for maximum symmetry—or whatever passes for “ideal” in K-pop land.
And then—oh boy—the hole depths are listed right there: vagina goes down to 7.1 inches, anus is at six, mouth stops at about five-ish. I remember thinking… who measures these? Is there an official tape measure for dolls? Probably someone out there with that job title and an existential crisis brewing.
Shipping Realities (Or How To Explain This To Your Neighbors)
Here’s the part that made me snort-laugh: discreet packaging. Of course they say that; nobody wants their mailman knowing what’s inside the box unless he moonlights as Dr. Freud. Free international shipping though—that surprised me more than it should have considering how much Jenna costs (don’t ask). Processing takes two weeks plus another week on the road so three weeks total—you’ll have time to forget you ordered her and then get startled by your own doorbell.
A Tangent About Silicone
well, Platinum cured silicone is supposedly top-shelf stuff—a step above those weird rubbery dolls from back when people still used dial-up internet. It feels different; not alive exactly but less like hugging an inflatable pool toy from Walmart clearance bins.
I did wonder if she’d smell weird out of the box—like new sneakers or chemical strawberries—but honestly? Not really. Slightly plasticky at first but nothing tragic; goes away after airing out for a bit.
What Nobody Mentions (But Maybe Should)
Using words like “life size” makes everything sound clinical until you realize this doll takes up actual space in your lair-you-call-it-and-hope-nobody-visits-unannounced. Finding somewhere discreet but accessible isn’t easy unless you already live alone or have mastered stealth storage solutions (I haven’t).
And here’s something else—I didn’t expect how much assembly would remind me of putting together IKEA furniture minus the Swedish meatballs and with way weirder instructions.
Weird Little Realization
At some point during all this—the measuring tape reading, box dragging, double-checking shipping emails—I realized Jenna is both object and idea rolled into one very literal package: she exists because people want her to exist and also because technology made her possible in ways our grandparents would probably find hilarious or horrifying or both.
The thing about premium life size silicone sex dolls is that you really do get what you pay for — cheap alternatives rarely compare.
It leaves things feeling unfinished somehow—not bad exactly, just open-ended—like maybe next time I'll order something less complicated...or maybe not.
