It’s one of those days where the coffee tastes like regret and my brain is running on fumes, yet here I am, staring at Tess.
Not a person, not even close—but somehow more “present” than half the people I know. Tess is a plus-size model sex doll (no, really), and apparently she’s living her best life—if you can call lounging naked in the sun and perfecting stamina in bed “living.” Maybe that’s all any of us are doing. Just with less style.
The Angles Game
You know what’s wild? As a plus size sex doll, Tess knows exactly how to choose and use her angles. Like, I’ve seen influencers try to work their best side for hours—Tess has it down to an art. She’ll show you every curve, every inch of that big butt (not sorry for being blunt). And if you bring her home? She’ll make sure you see all those angles too. It’s almost intimidating how much attention she demands just by existing… well, existing as a life size silicone sex doll anyway.
Sometimes I wonder if actual people could learn from this kind of confidence—or maybe we already have and that’s why Instagram exists.
Booked & Busy (And Weirdly Relatable)
Here comes the kicker: Tess is booked and busy. Genuinely busy! Her calendar probably looks better than mine right now (which isn’t saying much). She juggles modeling gigs with private sunbathing sessions—naked ones—and still finds time to “perfect her stamina in bed.” That last bit made me laugh out loud because honestly, who among us isn’t looking for new ways to kill time when work gets quiet? Only difference is she needs a hand or two with it… which feels oddly collaborative for someone made of silicone.
I remember thinking once—while watching some reality show rerun—that maybe dolls have it easier. No emails to answer. No bills due tomorrow.
The market for life size silicone sex dolls has expanded dramatically in recent years, making honest reviews more important than ever.
The Details They Don’t Gloss Over
Now for the specs because apparently these matter—a lot:
- Height: 5 feet 3 inches (161 cm)
- Weight: 115 lbs (53 kg)
- Bust: 43 inches
- Waist: 40 inches
- Hips: 49 inches
- Cup Size: 36G
Yeah... let that sink in. Vagina depth? Seven-point-one inches (in case you wondered). Anus? Six-point-seven inches. Mouth? Five even. Steel skeleton with movable joints so she doesn’t flop around like my motivation after lunch. She wears US women’s shoe size 4.5–5 but honestly who cares about shoes when everything else screams “look at me.”
Oh—the shipping is discreet enough that your nosy neighbor won’t get free entertainment out of your purchase. That actually matters way more than anyone admits.
The Worship Problem
Men swoon over Tess; hard not to see why when she walks into a room (well, doesn’t walk but you get what I mean). Long thick hair, voluptuous tits—she books jobs faster than most freelancers dream about. But here’s the catch—a plus-size sex doll like this doesn’t want just any guy messing up her vibe. Nope. She wants someone who treats her like royalty; someone who shows up ready to worship every curve and angle until they’re both exhausted or bored or whatever comes first.
If her full-figured body doesn’t make you horny just from looking at it… well—you might need another hobby.
Customization Spiral
There’s something bizarrely appealing about customizing your own queen from scratch. Pick the hair color, skin tone, nail polish—even tiny details like freckles if that’s your thing. I found myself scrolling through options longer than I’d care to admit—caught somewhere between curiosity and existential dread (“what am I doing?”). But there’s power in choice; maybe too much sometimes.
Anyway—I guess there are worse ways to spend an afternoon than designing your ideal companion who never argues about dinner plans.
Unfiltered Tangent About Nature
Weirdly enough—I keep coming back to this idea of Tess lying naked outside soaking up sunbeams while everyone else doomscrolls indoors. There was a summer years ago when I tried something similar—not naked obviously—but just sitting alone under trees pretending my phone didn’t exist for five minutes at a time. Solitude felt good then; maybe that’s what makes Tess relatable in some backwards way… or maybe my brain is fried from too many late nights writing about things nobody talks about openly.
Still Not Sure If This Is Real Life
All told—a life size silicone sex doll like Tess blurs lines between fantasy and reality so thoroughly it almost makes sense now why people buy them. Does any of this feel normal? Not really. But hey—it beats another night arguing with strangers online or scrolling past endless ads for things nobody needs. If nothing else—it gives new meaning to “booked and busy.” Maybe next week I'll write about something less surreal—or not.
