I’m not even sure why I’m writing this, except maybe nobody ever gives you the actual lowdown about these things.
You know—life size silicone sex dolls, like the “Alice: Secret Party” model. All those review sites? They just parrot specs and slap on some stock photos. But here’s what it’s really like when you actually order one (yeah, I did), and why I ended up feeling… well, kind of weird about the whole thing.
When Curiosity Turns Into a Four-Week Wait
You see all these ads promising “discreet shipping” and “free international delivery.” Honestly, that part is true. The box was blank—like aggressively plain—and heavy enough to make me rethink my life choices halfway up the stairs. Processing took three weeks, then another week for shipping; four weeks total, which felt like forever if you’re even slightly impatient. (And who isn’t?) There’s no tracking drama or embarrassing customs calls though, so credit where it’s due.
The First Glance — Not Exactly What Instagram Promised
Cracking open a big cardboard box in your living room isn’t glamorous. It’s awkward. And heavy—88 lbs is no joke unless you’re already used to lugging gym equipment around for fun. She’s 5 feet 4 inches tall (164 cm), so yeah: full-sized human territory.
The first thing that hit me was how cold she felt out of the packaging. Silicone doesn’t exactly radiate warmth at first touch (or second). Her proportions are... exaggerated? Bust: 32 inches, waist: 23 inches, hips: 40.5 inches—definitely in that “big big juicy” fantasy zone.
I remember thinking her legs looked longer than mine somehow—maybe an illusion from being sprawled on my carpet next to a pile of bubble wrap.
The Stuff Nobody Tells You About Movable Joints
Steel skeleton with movable joints sounds cool until you realize repositioning her feels more like wrangling an uncooperative mannequin than anything remotely sexy. Arms bend but sometimes get stuck at odd angles; knees too. Setting her up takes patience (and possibly a YouTube tutorial or two).
But once she’s posed right… okay, there is something oddly impressive about how real she looks sitting at the edge of my bed—even if it makes eye contact feel strange as hell.
Vaginal & Anal Details — Let’s Not Pretend This Isn’t Awkward
The product page goes into specifics: vagina depth is 7.1 inches; anus is 6.3 inches deep. These are numbers you never thought would matter until suddenly they do? Using her feels bizarrely clinical at first because everything is so measured and precise—the way only a life size silicone sex doll can be.
Not going to sugarcoat it: cleaning afterward is tedious and kind of gross if you aren’t prepared with supplies ahead of time (think towels or antibacterial wipes). Nobody really glamorizes that part online but honestly—it matters more than most people admit.
Whether this is your first life size silicone sex doll or you're adding to a collection, doing your homework pays off every time.
Unexpected Realizations (& One Weird Tangent)
Here’s something nobody warns you about: storage anxiety becomes real fast once the novelty wears off a bit. Where do you put an almost-90 pound synthetic woman between uses? Closets don’t cut it unless yours are massive; under-bed space works only if your frame sits high enough off the ground.
Also—strange side effect—I started noticing myself treating her almost like furniture after week two; draping clothes over her arm while folding laundry without thinking twice.
Weirdly enough… seeing those long legs poking out from behind my desk one morning made me laugh out loud alone in my apartment—which probably says more about me than anything else here.
Was It Worth Ordering Alice?
Depends what you want out of it, honestly (hmm—there I go again). If what you're after is realism in terms of look and feel—a busty big ass sex doll with long legs and all—the Alice Secret Party delivers on specs alone: fully silicone skin, steel skeleton that holds poses surprisingly well once set up right, measurements straight from some comic book fever dream.
But does she replace human company? No chance—not even close. Still… as far as life size silicone sex dolls go? She checks every technical box I’ve seen advertised anywhere else online—and then some—but owning one comes with its own set of unexpected quirks nobody ever puts in bold print on those splashy websites.
There are days when I wonder if anyone else has had their groceries delivered while their silicone roommate sits propped against the couch in broad daylight—but maybe that's just another question for Google search history purgatory someday...
