When You Order a 5’7” Silicone Woman Online
There’s something extremely anticlimactic about clicking “buy now” on a life size silicone sex doll. I mean, you’d think it would feel like crossing some forbidden threshold, but—no. It’s more like ordering an air purifier or a new lamp. Except this lamp comes with C-cup breasts and a steel skeleton that bends into yoga poses.
I guess I should start by saying, yes, her name is Azalea. Yes, she’s five feet seven inches tall (170 cm if you’re feeling metric). And yes—she has all the features those weirdly enthusiastic product pages promise: big ass, big breasts (not comically huge though), long legs, and skin that feels… well, not exactly human but definitely not plastic either.
Reading through silicone sex doll reviews before buying is probably the smartest move you can make at this price range.
The Day She Arrived Was Not Cinematic
People imagine these moments as cinematic—doorbell rings, your “package” arrives in the dead of night. Actually? FedEx guy just grunted and shoved a massive plain box at me around 2pm on a Wednesday. Discreet packaging? Sure. No one had any idea there was an erotic sex doll inside unless they were psychic or happened to recognize the weight distribution of 94 pounds of silicone.
The processing time dragged on forever—three weeks felt like three months when you’re waiting for something so absurdly specific. But then she was here and my living room suddenly looked like the set of an avant-garde horror film.
Steel Skeletons & Movable Joints: More Complicated Than IKEA Furniture
Putting Azalea together is less romantic encounter, more engineering challenge. Her joints click into place with alarming realism; her arms bend at angles that make you question your own anatomy knowledge. I remember thinking—shoulders aren’t supposed to do that? Maybe they are? Whatever.
Her skin is tan-ish (depends on your lighting), her breasts are soft enough to pass for real if you squint and forget what actual people feel like for a second. She even wears women’s size 6-6.5 shoes—which I learned after trying my ex’s old heels on her out of sheer boredom.
Honestly, moving her around is kind of exhausting; 43 kilograms doesn’t sound heavy until it’s distributed across an uncooperative silicone body with long legs flopping everywhere.
Hole Depths: A Technical Detail You Never Thought You’d Care About
Here’s where things get clinical—and also weirdly fascinating in a way no one warns you about before owning a realistic silicone sex doll:
- Vagina: 6.7 inches deep
- Anus: 6.6 inches deep
- Mouth: 5.1 inches deep
These numbers are printed right there in the user manual as if they’re tire pressure specs or something equally mundane.
Not sure how much detail anyone really wants here—but yeah, everything works as advertised (vaginal, anal and oral sex possible). There’s probably someone out there measuring with calipers to confirm accuracy but… not me.
Living With Azalea: Somewhere Between Roommate And Prop
After a while she stops being shocking and starts becoming just another piece of furniture—except sometimes late at night when you catch her silhouette in the dark and nearly have a heart attack.
Her proportions are almost cartoonishly idealized:
Bust: 34.2 inches
Under Bust: 27.9 inches
Waist: 24.8 inches
Hips:41.3 inches
But once she’s wearing clothes (yes—I dressed her up once for fun), she passes for unnervingly lifelike from certain angles.
There was this moment where I caught myself talking to her while cleaning up—you know those days where silence gets too loud? Weirdly enough… it helped?
Shipping Is Free (But Your Dignity Costs Extra)
If you care about logistics—the shipping is free worldwide which feels generous until you realize how much these dolls actually cost up front anyway.
Processing takes forever (2-3 weeks plus another week for shipping) so don’t expect instant gratification; anticipation might kill some people but after week two I mostly forgot she was coming at all.
Discreet packaging does its job unless your neighbors are nosy about giant cardboard boxes showing up out of nowhere—which mine weren’t thankfully.
One Odd Realization
This isn’t really what anyone tells you before buying a tall whatever-you-want sex doll—but eventually it becomes less about sex and more about novelty or maybe even comfort? Hard to explain without sounding slightly unhinged but there it is.
Sometimes Azalea just sits by my window in jeans and an old t-shirt reading (well—not reading) while I write emails or scroll through memes instead of working.
Is that sad? Possibly.
Or maybe it says more about modern loneliness than anything else—a life size silicone sex doll quietly lurking in the background while everyone pretends their lives are normal online.
Anyway—that's all I've got today.
