Not Exactly What I Expected (But Here We Are)
I’ll just say it: I never really pictured myself writing about a “bar girl sex doll.” And yet, here we are. Browsing late at night—half zoned out after a long week—I somehow landed on this page for Jordyn, the 5-foot-5 blonde silicone love doll with proportions that honestly seem… engineered? Maybe that’s the whole point.
Anyway, there’s something weirdly clinical about listing all these measurements: E-cup bust (33.5 inches), under bust at 25.6, waist barely over 21, hips pushing 36. It kind of reads like a spec sheet for a car or a new phone model. Except, you know—it’s a full silicone sex doll. Life size and then some.
The Features List Reads Like an Appliance Manual
Skimming through the key features—EVO skeleton (whatever that means in practice), gel breasts, “Real Oral Sex” mouth—I can’t help thinking someone out there is way more excited about this than me. Vaginal, anal, oral options? Sure. Hole depths listed to the decimal point? Okay.
The weight jumps out: 75 pounds. That’s not nothing; that’s basically hauling around half my gym routine just to move her from closet to bed or wherever people keep their dolls (not judging—just mentally checked out enough to imagine tripping over her feet in the dark).
And yeah—the shipping info promises “discreet packaging,” which is probably good if you have neighbors who snoop or if your mailman already gives you weird looks for too many Amazon boxes.
Processing Time Is... A Whole Month?
Here’s one of those things nobody tells you up front: four weeks minimum before she even arrives at your door. Three weeks processing + another week shipping = lots of time to second guess yourself (or forget you ordered anything at all). Free international shipping is nice though; I mean, these things aren’t cheap and paying extra just to get them across borders would be… well… awkward.
The Realism Thing
Supposedly Jordyn has an “enhanced mouth” for what they call Real Oral Sex (ROS). I don’t know who comes up with these acronyms but it sounds like something from a sci-fi movie where robots file HR complaints. Six inches deep for anal play? Nearly seven for vaginal? Five for oral? These numbers stick in my brain longer than they should—maybe because it feels almost surreal how specific everything gets.
You look at her photos and yeah, she looks real enough if you squint—or maybe after two beers—but there’s always this uncanny valley thing going on with life size silicone sex dolls. They’re so close and yet… not quite human.
Tangent About Storage Spaces
Okay—this bit isn’t exactly on topic but it hit me while reading about her measurements: where do people actually put these dolls when company comes over? Closets? Under beds? Some sort of custom armoire built just for hiding high-end silicone companions?
It makes me wonder if anyone has ever accidentally introduced Jordyn as their roommate during a Zoom call gone wrong—or worse—had family discover her while looking for spare blankets.
I've looked at dozens of high-quality silicone sex dolls over the years, and each one has its own strengths and quirks worth knowing about.
One Odd Upside
I guess one thing stands out as oddly practical—the box comes plain and unlabeled, which means your secret stays safe unless someone gets curious enough to open it up themselves (which would be its own story). There’s comfort in knowing nobody will see “life size silicone sex doll” printed across the side in bold letters next to your address.
Closing Out With Unfinished Thoughts
There are people who swear by these things—say they’re worth every penny and moment of anticipation during that month-long wait. Me? Still skeptical. The details blur together after awhile; hole depths and bra sizes start sounding less sexy and more like trivia questions no one asked for.
Maybe I’m missing something essential here—a sense of adventure or imagination or whatever—but mostly it leaves me wondering what happens after the novelty wears off and reality sets back in.
Or maybe that’s just me projecting again.
