Alright, this is weirdly specific.
But you wanted the rundown on the Laguna: Oiled Up Stripper Sex Doll, and here I am—mentally checked out, sipping cold coffee that tastes like regret, explaining it to you as if we’re stuck in a never-ending group chat. Maybe you’re curious. Maybe just bored. Either way, let’s do this.
The Stats (Because Apparently That Matters)
You ever read one of those product pages where they list measurements like it’s a Formula 1 car? Yeah. This is that but with more boobs and less horsepower.
Laguna stands at 5 feet 3 inches tall (or 159 cm for the metric crowd). She weighs in at a solid 94.8 lbs—or if you opt for “weight reduction” (which sounds suspiciously sci-fi), she drops to about 75.8 lbs. Still not exactly featherlight, but hey, moving her around probably counts as cardio.
Her proportions? Well… they didn’t hold back:
- Bust: 37.8 inches
- Under Bust: 27.5 inches
- Waist: 24.8 inches
- Hips: an almost comical 42.9 inches
- Cup Size: H (yes, really)
- Shoe size? Women’s US 6–6.5
I remember thinking—who measures under busts in real life? Anyway, apparently some people do.
More Than Just Curves (Supposedly)
This isn’t your average mannequin situation; Laguna is what they call a thick and curvy H-cup sex doll made from silicone that feels… well, close enough to skin if you squint and suspend disbelief for five minutes.
Underneath all that silicone there’s a steel skeleton with movable joints—so she can pose or fold up however you want (within reason; don’t get wild). It’s almost unsettling how much articulation she has compared to my own creaky knees.
And yes, all the expected “features” are there:
- Vaginal depth: 6.7 inches
- Anal depth: 6.6 inches
- Oral depth: 5.1 inches
Not sure why anyone needs to know the exact decimal points but here we are.
Shipping Is Weirdly Discreet
Here’s something I found unintentionally hilarious—the box is plain and unlabeled because apparently everyone ordering life size silicone sex dolls wants plausible deniability when their neighbors see them struggling with a massive package at the door.
Processing takes about two or three weeks plus another week for shipping—which means by the time she arrives you might’ve forgotten why you ordered her in the first place.
Free international shipping though! So… there’s that?
Things You Notice When You Actually See One
I visited a friend once who had one of these dolls propped up in his living room like it was just another piece of furniture. Laguna looked oddly lifelike—tan skin tone, brunette hair cascading down her back, legs crossed dramatically over each other as if she was waiting for someone to start small talk about climate change or TikTok trends.
The big butt thing? Not an exaggeration. Big breasts? Also not subtle. Long legs go on forever until suddenly—you realize it’s just silicone molded into someone’s fantasy version of “young” and “stripper.” It felt strange seeing something so obviously artificial trying so hard to be real.
Honestly—it was hard not to laugh at first glance but then after a while it became sort of normal background noise among pizza boxes and empty soda cans.
Unexpected Details & Mild Contradictions
You’d think owning something like this would be awkward all around—but strangely enough my friend insisted it helped him focus on work because he wasn’t distracted by dating apps anymore (his words—not mine). There’s some irony buried deep inside that logic somewhere.
Also—the weight reduction thing makes sense until you try moving her upstairs alone; even at seventy-something pounds she feels heavier than any gym dumbbell I’ve ever owned.
Another oddity—the discreet packaging works unless your building has nosy neighbors who ask too many questions about oversized deliveries anyway.
Tangent Time—Why Do People Name These Dolls?
Quick detour because this bugs me every time—why does every company give these dolls names like “Laguna”? Was there a committee meeting where someone said “Let’s make her sound exotic yet approachable”? Or maybe naming them makes everything slightly less robotic-feeling? I dunno.
Back To Reality For A Minute
If you’re actually looking for a tall sex doll—a tan brunette with big boobs and hips who’ll never judge your snack choices or Netflix queue—then yeah, Laguna checks all those boxes in spades.
She looks young-ish without being cartoonish (unless you count the proportions), and honestly…she’ll probably outlast most relationships considering how durable silicone is supposed to be.
For those exploring lifelike silicone sex dolls for the first time, the level of realism in modern craftsmanship can be genuinely surprising.
But then again—I keep wondering what happens when technology gets even better and people start asking their Alexa which stripper doll matches their mood lighting best.
Anyway—I’m probably thinking too much about this now.
