When Gifting Gets Weird
Christmas shopping is always a fever dream, right? You blink, it’s December 22nd, and suddenly you’re scrolling past socks and ugly sweaters and—oh. There she is. Mistletoe. A “romantic Christmas sex doll.” The ad copy was… festive? Maybe that’s the word. Or maybe I just needed more coffee.
Anyway, I remember thinking: who actually buys a life size silicone sex doll for Christmas? And then—well, curiosity is a disease. Before I knew it, I was reading about her key features like some kind of accidental toy reviewer.
The Numbers Game (Because Apparently That Matters)
Mistletoe isn’t shy with her stats. Five feet four inches tall (165 cm), which means she’d probably blend in at most holiday parties if you dressed her up enough. Weight: 74 lbs (33 kg). Honestly heavier than my old dog but lighter than my guilt after clicking “add to cart.”
They list out everything else too: C-cup bra size, bust at 31.5 inches, hips at 37.4 inches—there are more numbers than on my last tax return. Even the “hole depth” gets its own bullet point (vagina: 6.3 inches; anus: 5.5 inches). Not exactly your grandma’s gingerbread recipe.
Touching On Details That Feel Oddly Clinical
I’ll admit—I didn’t expect to read so much about gel breasts or EVO skeletons while drinking eggnog in my pajamas. But here we are! Full silicone body, which means she feels… well, not like an inflatable pool floatie from the ‘90s (thankfully). There’s something weirdly impressive about how these love dolls have evolved beyond their awkward beginnings.
She can do vaginal or anal sex positions apparently—I guess someone out there needs to know that before making their purchase during Black Friday sales or whatever.
Shipping: Less Santa Claus, More Secret Agent
The shipping info made me laugh harder than it should’ve—free international shipping and “discreet packaging.” Like what would non-discreet look like? A box with “SEX DOLL INSIDE!” stamped across it in Comic Sans?
Processing takes three weeks plus one week for shipping; four weeks total if you’re counting down the days until your very own busty silicone companion arrives just in time for New Year’s resolutions you’ll never keep.
A Tangent About Realism
Here’s where things get a bit strange—even for me. Holding this life size silicone sex doll feels almost too real sometimes; the proportions are close enough that you start wondering if technology has gone too far or not far enough yet. Is this uncanny valley territory? Or am I just overthinking because it’s late and my brain is basically oatmeal?
There’s a certain oddness to dressing her up for photos or moving her around the apartment so your neighbors don’t think you’ve lost your mind completely.
Not Exactly Hallmark Channel Material
If you’re hoping for some grand romantic epiphany here… hmm, maybe not exactly what happens when unboxing Mistletoe under twinkling lights with Bing Crosby crooning overhead.
But there is something undeniably human about wanting connection—even if it comes shaped like a five-foot-four piece of expertly-molded silicone with C-cup breasts and free international shipping.
I dunno—maybe next year I’ll just stick to socks again.
Or maybe not.
Whether this is your first life size silicone sex doll or you're adding to a collection, doing your homework pays off every time.
