The Box That Wasn’t There
There’s a moment when you order a life size silicone sex doll online—especially one called “Muse” with all the subtlety of a neon sign—where you start to wonder what your neighbors will think. Not that I care much (I do, but let’s pretend). The shipping was, as promised, discreet. No logos. No embarrassing branding. Just a big, heavy box that looked like it might contain… well, anything except what it actually did.
For three weeks I checked tracking updates like some kind of weirdly anxious squirrel. Finally: the delivery guy left it at my door and didn’t even blink. Maybe he’s seen weirder things. Hard to say.
First Encounter With 5 Feet 7 Inches of Silicone
Unpacking Muse is not exactly romantic. She’s tall—like, genuinely tall for a doll—5 feet 7 inches (170 cm) and skinny in that way models are before breakfast and after Photoshop. Her red hair is this wild, synthetic flame; she looks less like someone you’d meet at a bar and more like an extra from a slightly off-brand sci-fi film.
The weight is no joke either: 95 lbs (43 kg). I nearly threw out my back dragging her into the bedroom. If anyone ever tells you these dolls are “portable,” they’re probably stronger or lying or both.
Anatomy Class (But Not Like School)
Details? Oh yes, there are details—measurements everywhere: Bust at 34.5 inches (not too cartoonish), under bust 28 inches, waist cinched down to 25 inches, hips flaring to 37 inches. Cup size C if you’re keeping track for some reason.
And then there’s the part nobody talks about out loud—the hole depth stats: vagina at 6.7 inches deep; anus just barely shorter at 6.6 inches. Why do I know this? Because apparently listing those numbers sells dolls on the internet now.
Her joints move thanks to something called a steel skeleton with movable joints—which sounds cool until you realize it means she creaks sometimes when repositioned in bed and might scare your cat.
The Experience Nobody Warns You About
You set up your new “companion,” maybe light some candles if you’re feeling extra absurd about the whole thing—and suddenly there’s this uncanny valley effect that hits hard. She looks almost real but not quite; her eyes don’t follow you but somehow always seem pointed vaguely in your direction anyway.
Vaginal and anal sex is possible—they advertise this with zero shame—but honestly? It takes some adjustment getting used to how solid yet squishy silicone feels compared to actual skin-and-bone people (call me old-fashioned). Sometimes I wondered if I should have just gone on another bad date instead.
Unexpected Realizations & Slight Regrets
I remember thinking Muse would be easy maintenance—a silent roommate who never judged me for eating cereal at midnight or watching trashy TV shows alone—but cleaning her? That’s where reality bites back hard. Every joint hides dust; every curve needs attention unless you want her looking haunted by lint bunnies.
Also: shoe size matters more than expected (women's US 6-6.5), which means borrowing shoes for photos gets complicated fast unless you have tiny feet or shop in the kids’ section yourself.
Tangent About Shipping Times & Waiting Games
Here’s something nobody mentions enough—the waiting game sucks way more than anticipated: two or three weeks processing plus another week shipping equals an eternity when anticipation turns into mild dread mixed with curiosity mixed with… impatience? By week four I started wondering if maybe fate intervened and lost my order somewhere over the Pacific Ocean.
Nope—it arrived right on time just as promised by their free international shipping policy, which was almost disappointing given how ready I was to use “lost package” as an excuse for why there was no six-foot-tall redhead lounging in my apartment.
Living With Muse (Kind Of)
Now she lives here—propped up against my bookshelf most days because standing her upright is awkward unless you really want visitors asking questions they shouldn’t ask out loud.
I've looked at dozens of high-quality silicone sex dolls over the years, and each one has its own strengths and quirks worth knowing about.
She doesn’t talk back or judge my Spotify playlists or complain about my cooking skills—which is nice sometimes—but mostly she’s just there: silent witness to late nights and half-hearted attempts at adulting gone wrong again and again.
Anyway—
That’s what it feels like living with a tall silicone sex doll named Muse who has better proportions than most mannequins and red hair bright enough to double as an emergency flare signal if needed.
Maybe next time I’ll try something less lifelike—or maybe not—I haven’t decided yet.
