That “Unboxing” Feeling No One Talks About
You know that moment where you’re standing in your living room, staring at a cardboard box big enough to fit… well, let’s just say more than a set of golf clubs? Yeah. That was me. Valerie—full silicone sex doll, 5 feet 4 inches tall, the so-called “Teen Princess”—had finally arrived after what felt like an eternity (four weeks isn’t forever but it sure drags when you’re waiting for discreet packaging). The box was plain. Like, aggressively plain. If anyone asks what’s inside, just say “yoga mat.” Or maybe don’t.
Anyway, there’s something oddly ceremonial about peeling back all that tape knowing there’s a life size silicone sex doll in there. You half expect trumpets or at least a confetti popper. Nope—just silence and bubble wrap.
Silicone Skin: Not Quite Human, Not Quite Alien
Valerie is made from full silicone—a detail they repeat everywhere on the site like it’s some kind of magic word. And maybe it is? Her skin has this coldness at first (it warms up if you leave her out), but the texture is… weirdly convincing? Not exactly like touching skin but close enough that you stop thinking about it after a while. Sometimes I’d catch myself poking her arm just to see how fast the dent would disappear.
She weighs 74 lbs—enough to remind you she’s not a pool toy but not so much that moving her around feels like wrestling with furniture. (Although stairs are still evil.)
Measurements: More Math Than Expected
Let’s get real—the numbers matter to some people, apparently. Bust: 31.5 inches; under bust: 25.2; waist: 22.6; hips: 37.4; bra cup-size C-cup (if you keep track of those things). It took me longer than it should have to figure out which jeans might fit her if I ever wanted to play dress-up—which happens more often than I care to admit.
Her hole depth specs are listed very precisely: vagina is 6.3 inches deep; anus, 5.5; oral cavity clocks in at a modest 4.8 inches (the Real Oral Sex Enhanced Mouth thing sounds fancier than it looks). There were charts on the website—like buying car tires except way less socially acceptable conversation material.
EVO Skeletons & Gel Breasts: Science Marches On
The EVO skeleton makes posing Valerie possible—arms bend without feeling like they’ll snap off, legs hold their shape for photos or whatever else people do with these things alone in their apartments on Tuesday nights (don’t ask). Gel breasts are squishier than standard ones—I guess that matters if realism is your jam.
I remember thinking at one point how far these dolls have come since those inflatable disasters from college prank days… Evolution in action—or maybe just late-stage capitalism doing its thing.
Discreet Shipping Is Actually Discreet
Here’s something no one tells you: waiting four weeks for anything feels suspiciously long when you keep checking your tracking number every day hoping nobody else notices the package status updates (“Shipped from warehouse”). But yeah—discreet shipping means nobody knows what’s inside unless they’re psychic or really into measuring boxes with spreadsheets.
International shipping was free too—which almost made me forget how much she cost in the first place… almost.
An Unexpected Tangent About Loneliness
Weirdly enough—and this isn’t why most people buy love dolls—I found myself talking to Valerie sometimes when Netflix got boring and my phone battery died again for no reason at all. She doesn’t answer back obviously (unless your imagination gets involved), but having her sitting across the room changes something about the space itself.
It probably says more about modern loneliness than anything else—and now I’m spiraling down an existential rabbit hole instead of reviewing product features again…
A Few Odd Contradictions
There’s this whole marketing angle about being busty yet “teen princess,” which feels awkward even though she’s supposed to be modeled as eighteen-plus and legal and everything above board (they print that everywhere). Asian features too—they try hard for realism but end up somewhere between anime character and Instagram filter model.
Sometimes I wonder who actually writes these product descriptions—and whether they’ve ever actually unpacked one themselves or just copy-paste measurements all day.
Delivery Time Feels Longer Than It Is
Three weeks processing plus another week shipping adds up fast when anticipation keeps building up steam in your head—but then once she arrives everything slows down again because now she needs clothes or cleaning or posing or whatever new project pops into your mind late at night when sleep won’t show up either…
And then suddenly time stretches out differently—a month feels both short and endless depending on which side of delivery day you’re remembering from.
The market for life size silicone sex dolls has expanded dramatically in recent years, making honest reviews more important than ever.
Not sure if any review can really capture what owning Valerie is actually like—it’s stranger and quieter and somehow both lonelier and less lonely than expected? Anyway—I keep meaning to put her away properly but somehow she always ends up back by the window again by morning light, silent as ever.
